... the end...

As every summer ends 

And Every sun sets 

Every candle burns out...

Battles fought alone,

I no longer fight

I surrender 

I’m broken 

I’m no longer needed,

my work here is done ...

No tears, no pains, no broken hearts 

I say a'deu 

Lost all my battles 

Unwanted 

No one to miss 

Memory of me will pass like a dark cloud 

A brighter sun will shine tomorrow 

I loved and sold my soul 

My lifeless existence 

you no longer would have to endure 

At last it’s time and my alarm went off

It’s time that I shall say a’deu 

Today it will rain but soon it will be sunny ..

Tomorrow I will be forgotten 

The love , the memories all empty and like a dandelion drifts far away and disappear 

I too shall ... disappear 

It’s time 

To finally say a’deu 

No love no hope to keep me 

breathing any longer 

The pain overwhelms me 

Excruciating 

I no longer seek a hand to to pull me up 

From the deep end I’m drowning 

Let me drown .. It’s time 

Finally 

It’s just another day 

Not a loss , for I was invisible 

Nothing 

I mean nothing 

No love, no hope 

I was dead the moment you said you don’t love me 

It’s time 

It’s time for me to drift away 

Disappear 

You will smile 

Today and tomorrow 

For I never meant a thing 

Smile ... Sun is shining today ! 

 P.S: .... Good bye my love... 

To my Godsent..

Because you were there, whenever I needed a friend

To give me hope and strength, when I felt my world reached its end

For you are an angel from heaven, my very own and Godsend

I’ve reached out to you, when the shades of darkness transcend..

Like a snowflake drifting slowly to the earth from the sky

Like a sunflower leaning towards the sun as the darkness die

Like a wave breaking on the seashore that never asking why

I reached out to you and turned to you by and by...

My world won’t be brighter, and my life won’t be complete

Everything in my world, I lay at your feet

Without your gentle love, my world be a lampless street

Forever, I treasure you my precious, and be glad and so pleased...

Love is madness...

I love you so, I know it's madness,
I know it's toil and shameful vanity,
I know its vast stupidity,
But here at your knees I must confess.
It does not suit my looks or years,
It's more than time I should be wise,
But by all the signs I recognize
The pain of love, its sighs and tears.
Without you, I am lost, I yawn,
When you are near I'm melancholy,
I want to speak, the words are gone,
My angel, you are all that's holy!
When from the hall I hear the sound
Of your soft footstep, or your dress,
Or your sweet voice's innocence,
My heart crumbles, I am all a mess.
If you should smile - it's heaven for me,
You turn away - it seems eternity;
In days of sadness, the only solace,
Is your pale hand, or your sweet face.
When at the sewing frame you sit
Diligently bending over it,
Your hair and eyelids lowering,
Then in amazement I sit wondering,
Tenderly, silently, like a child.
Should I then tell you of my grief?
What use to you would be my talk,
My jealous love, my awkwardness,
When, on a clouded day, you dress
To take a stroll or lengthy walk?
Your tears when all alone you stray,
Or sometimes when we talk together,
Your journeys out in wind and weather,
At the piano when you sit and play,
I love it all. Alina dearest,
Have pity on me, sweet, I pray,
I dare not ask for love, I may not,
Perhaps I am not worthy of it,
My angel, for my sins forbid it.
At least pretend! For your glance so holy
Always could wondrously prove love.
Deceive me then, by the heavens above
I yearn for it, I die, your look alone will save me.....

- Shakespeare Sonnet 

.. Just not today.....

Someday my angel

I will be strong for you

But today

Let me cry in your arms

For only you got the power to heal my lonely broken heart

Someday my angel

I will make you proud

But today

Let me hide in your arms

For you are the oasis that I longed for forever

Someday my angel

I will love you endlessly

But today

Let me just be with you

For my broken heart needs heaps of mending first

Someday my angel

I will make all your dreams come true

But today

Let me just live in this dream

The dream of being with you

For every time when Im awake, you are never ever mine…

... Masquerade...

Slipping through my fingers

is my dearest lover; my insatiable desire…

Fading as an iris after the April rain

before my very eyes…

My deepest fear, plays its part

the everlasting happiness,

The eternal blaze, I masqueraded

Holding on through the blames

harsh words cut deeper than hundreds of knives…

My Aching heart relieves only by the tears

Procrastinating

Denying to wake up to face another day

filled with excruciating agony

No more silver linings

No longer, my heart feels beating

No longer, my life worth living

For the unforgivable mistake

of forbidden love

Captivated by the blazing allure of tantalizing passion

with the one who was never mine

hiding behind a masquerade

hiding the fears and guilt

a love that was indescribable

unexplainable

or justified….

Waking up next to an empty pillow

the truth yesterday no longer exists

the thin line between love and hate,

gone in an instance

blink of an eye……

I hide back again behind my

masquerade.....

Your truth, your lies they all still hurt just the same.....

The truth you tell me hurts more than your lies

Once I learned it, I started to cry

Every time I thought of you

I remembered what I thought was true...

I try to cover it as I mend my heart

It's no use I'm broken apart

Into a million pieces I've been shattered

Not that you cared not that it mattered...

The truth hurts more than I thought

Reality showing what I forgot

My smile returns all so fake

There's nothing else for you to take....

You took my heart when I learned the lie

Inside I'm dying as I try

To mend myself as best as I can

Hoping that this won't happen again....

I'll try to leave this behind

As I start to find

Myself looking at you during the day

And try to find something to say......

That won't bring back this painful memory

what won't remind me what couldn't be

As I start to learn it's still true
I still find myself loving you......

... new friend, new smiles......

On a warm summer night, lying sleepless in the dark,

To put down in words, how broken was my heart…

I’ve strummed a silent tune, through the bad fog of emptiness,

I thought about you, through a fading song of loneliness….

When the waves washed my sadness, away to the ocean,

When the sun dried my tears and stole my sad emotions…

When happiness is that’s left, I saw through my door,

You walked in to my world -I couldn’t ask for more….

You walked in to my life, in an unexpected way,

I thank you a lot more times and all these words l’d say…

To see your smile, I’ll turn this world around,

The whole world in an instant, I would indeed fight down….

You are a gift sent from heaven, to bring back my long lost smiles,

You are an angel, with a heart of gold so hard for me to ever find...

You are a candle in the dark, with a flame that shines so bright,

When my days get cold and weary, you filled it with a shimmering light

You are a raindrop in a drought, bringing life back in to my world,

When I need some inspiration, you gave someone for me to turn...

You are a wave in the endless ocean, brings back hope to the shores of my life,

Fill my world with so much laughter, and happiness I've never strived…

You are a diamond so rare to find, for your beauty runs through to your soul,

So precious, I'm glad I met you, for I was beyond control…

You showed me a world, I’ve never seen through my broken heart,

For I hope you will be my friend for my life, and never to fall apart…..

I thank you for being just so kind, caring and wonderful,

My black and white world have suddenly turned so colorful…

Since the day one of your presence, I smiled all day and night,

Im happy as I can ever be, you are such a delight!...

... Unfinished Fairy tale.....

Through the lonely shadows of darkness

Seeped in a ray of brightly shimmering light

Like a moth drawn in to a brightest light

She turned to him, fallen for him, fallen so hard…..

Buoyed by hope, she reached his hand

Drowned in him, his loving tenderness

The warmth in his heart, the kindness in his words

Melted her like a lemon drop

Wanting to love him, yearning to be in his embrace through eternity

She prayed

Prayed God, “Please let me love this man”….

She begged

Begged for one more chance at love….

When he held her close, laid his lips gently upon her face,

Her broken, forlorn heart, pounding fiercely

Feelings, Insatiable…

Wanting to love him, she buried herself in his arms,

Through the burning fire of desire….

Minutes turned to hours,

And the hours drown closer to the midnight…

Time to bid farewell to this glimpse of a fairytale….

They held their hands, through tears she snuggled so close to him...

Their heartbeats echo like thunder, through the loudest silence…

“No, no, no, no…. It can’t be now…. Let it be tomorrow”…

Time has turned against them, they wonder….

Nothing seems fair for two, who dreams,

Who have fallen in love through all odds in time…

They kissed for the longest time for one last time,

Uncertain of what tomorrow brings…

Through the hurt, through tears, the gazed at eachother’s eyes

No good byes were said, just silence….

Concluding one chapter, of this unfinished fairy tale…..

... You are my only life ....

You are my dream in my garden of love,

You give me all the reasons to live another day,

Just like a flower sings in the summer,

Just like the morning dew drops give their blessings,

Please don’t leave me, my darling…

Let our love always shimmer beyond the stars…

Where are those angels fly beyond the endless blue skies?

In the evenings of missing you in the light of fireflies,

I wish I can go back through time and melody of my life…

Whenever sea waves rolling to the shore,

I’ll wait for your love my baby ….. Forever…

Your shadow, your life hold me tight in this love,

My darling, dont leave me….

I am like the wind without a burning candle,

A king without its castle,

In the sound of time would the trees wave without the wind?

Should the music be heard without the sound?

Even a little bird try to fly and finally fall down,

There is a lesson not to give up under the sun,

Things may be blur, but my hope still the same,

To seek for your forgiveness in your purest heart….

As a lover, I walk during night time,

Try to find a meaning for my life,

Whenever dark clouds cover my whole world,

I have seen no one but you,

Your love, that gave me all the reasons to believe,

Darling, don’t leave me, I’d be so lost….

Like the destiny that floating the emptiness in me,

Like the moon watching my lonely tears every night,

Will I be a lonely bird that’s forgotten by trees?

Wherever the wind whisper words of sadness,

And write it down in my forlorn heart…

Whenever you whisper words of love in my ear,

Full of love so precious from your purest heart….

Darling, with you I have never felt fear…

Even though the storm of love wrecked my life,

But in my heart always you inside,

Baby, don’t leave me, because I love you.

Darling, if time can go back elsewhere,

Like a smile during winter snow,

I’d be there all the time with you,

Love and kisses written once more…..

A silence in the ice thats frozen,

Where the soul of dreams deserve more,

Please give me one chance,

Wait for me for just a little longer Darling,

Please don’t leave me between wild roses,

where two butterflies seem to reach their perfection in love…

Whenever the sound of river is a sign that you’ll leave me forever

Rain that falling within a glimpse of light,

Baby, you do know what love is...

Even though the taste of life hiding at the bottom of memories,

Surely, one meaning is belong to one doubt,

Whenever I gave everything to the past,

What should I do, my precious? ,

Flying with butterflies at the early season,

It feels like only one day left,

Please don't leave me my baby,

'Coz you are my only life.

Him..... The best.....

His eyes just dazzle like precious blue jewels, 
His lips so soft petals of rose ... 
His face so radiant like the morning sunrise, 
His face like the full moon, glows  ... 

His kindness is beyond any man's on earth, 
His love so pure and true.. 
His laughter is magical takes all my pain away, 
His embrace so warm and brighten up my day .. 

His heart of gold i  wonder how big it can be, 
His faith and loyalty goes beyond humanity .. 
The beauty of his soul spreads serenity and calmness,  
His virtue and values so noble, stands tall finesse.. 

He brings so much joy and laughter into my world, 
And love and caring in abundance.. 
He has taken away all my fears and insecurities, 
My faith and hope  restored.. 

His presence in my life makes living worthwhile, 
He gives me reasons to dream..
Without him my life will just be a dark black hole, 
He loves me so dear wont let me fall.. 

My life without him i choose not to think, 
He is my life, without him its just darkness.. 
I treasure him my precious than all riches in the world, 
I give him all the keys to my heart.. 

For his love that he gives me, i cannot thank him enough.. 
For his honesty and commitment i cannot be grateful enough..
I want to tell him that he is my angel, sent by god from up above,
And i do cherish him everyday till death do us part...

... for you, I will.....

I may not be the perfect girl
That every guy would wish.
I may not be that pretty 
But let me tell you this:

I can love you truly 
With all of my heart
I can be faithful
Even though we are apart.

I cannot climb the mountains
Nor swim the deepest sea
But I can make a promise 
Just put your trust in me.

I cannot give you all you want
But try to give my all
My love, my heart, my very soul
For you I’ll give it all.

I cannot reach the stars above
Nor offer you the moon
But if I will have the power
I’ll promise to do it soon.

For you I’ll give my very best
My love’s forever true
I may not be important
But for me my world is YOU.

.. Beautiful it is...

Beautiful it is, 
Your heart spreading love to everyone around you...
Beautiful it is, 
Your soul, a song written by god, so soothing, pure and true... 

Beautiful it is, 
Your smile, brightening up my every moment of the day and night...
Beautiful it is, 
My world, you are my sun that shines every morning oh so bright... 

Beautiful it is, 
You... Inside and out and every possible way.. 
Beautiful it is, 
The world i share with you, no matter come what may.. 

Beautiful it is, 
Your words, your love and your loyalty...
Beautiful it is, 
Your calmness, your pride and your honestly... 

Beautiful it is, 
Your kindness, the way you watch over me...
Beautiful it is, 
How you made me feel brand new, you must agree...

Beautiful it is, 
Everything you created for us to live together forever.. 
Beautiful it is, 
YOU... The gift from god, i cherish everyday through whatever... 

...... Our heavenly bond.....

From dusk till the dawn

I stay awake..
To see the sunshine
Of your face..

You sleep so peacefully
With a gorgeous smile....
I kiss you because
I cant stay away even for a while....

Not for a second
I shall sleep at night...
I worry that i will miss you
I will hold you tight....

I pray every night
To be yours forever .....
For you are my man
The best man ive got ever.....

 I love you more
Above and beyond...
I hope you do know
This is a heavenly bond

Stay with me baby
As long as i shall live.....
I want to grow old with you
And my all, i want to give.....

.... Marry you.....

A Golden ring, embellished with exquisite diamonds fine, 
On your knee, with the most romantic line, 
While a little boys' choir sing in their angelic voices, 
To the music so soft making delicate sweet noises.
I dont need all this baby, i just want to hear you say....
"Marry Me!"....

Cold hearts and selfish needs, 
Heartless moves and horrible deeds.
Is the world we live,  yet in happiness i believe .. 
To walk hand in hand, to the world of you and me,
I just want to hear you whisper.....
"Marry Me!"......

The man whom i met, when my world was dark and dreary, 
The man who touched my heart with endless love so purely.. 
I dream of a day that we make our happy home, 
To make me feel like its the day that I re-born.. 
No promises i shall need, just your gentle voice say...... 
"Marry Me!"...

I understand, if you need to walk away...

I know…. I understand

If you think im far from perfection

Im nothing but a distraction…

No longer you can offer me your devotion…

I know…. I understand

Because across the miles we waited too long

You want to give up and our love to be gone

I can only blame me for the things I did wrong

I know…. I understand

Your life needs to be so wonderful

Not stuck with someone like me so awful

Holding you from enjoying your world that’s so beautiful

I know…. I understand

You can never be blamed for anything that was bad

For its me who made choices so selfish, while i was mad

You’re the angel god has sent me and the best thing ive ever had 

I know…. I understand

You have to go now, I do, I do understand

I can’t stop my tears or wait no longer for your hand

I know you’ll find happiness just like how god would have planned

I know…. I understand

Now it’s time to say good-bye

I promise I wont keep asking why

Ive lost the precious you that money cannot buy…..